Part 2 – Cultural Diversity and Anger De-escalation

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Secrets to Handling Cultural Diversity Effectively

When you hear complaints, resolve not to tune out, but to tune in. Respond positively and productively — don’t allow yourself to become sucked into a defensive attitude or emotional altercation. Communication and understanding are salvaged and restored when we listen fully, with ears, eyes, and heart.

Excellence is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well —commit to ongoing learning so you can communicate in the most excellent way. The best methods are often simple, yet not always easy. Focus on your body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. Sometimes our subliminal communication methods speak louder than our words.

What you say to yourself matters as much as what you say to someone else. What messages are playing in your head? What you project can alter the way another person reacts. Pay attention to your self-talk. If you are making assumptions about what someone is thinking or feeling, stop and get the information directly from their own mouths — by asking.

Defusing Questions to Help You Calm Conflict and Chaos

Don’t Talk “at” Them — Ask Questions “of” Them

  • “May I ask you a question? If you were in my shoes, what would you reasonably offer to make things better?”
  • “Can you explain what you expected differently from what you experienced?”
  • “If you had my job, how would you handle this situation to make things fair for everyone affected?”
  • “Is there something else bothering you?”
  • “If we were to separate the facts from our emotions, what evidence supports your complaint?”
  • “Did anyone else see/experience the situation in the same way? May I speak to them?”
  • “Can I clarify what I thought I heard you say? I want to make sure I fully understand what you’re telling me.” (Then repeat back exactly what you thought you heard. Be open to the possibility that you misinterpreted. This is not the appropriate time to point out their mistakes. Right-fighters always lose in the end.)
  • “How would you suggest I prevent a similar problem in the future?”

The Hidden Emotion Behind Anger

  • Fear is at the core of most, if not all, of our anger. Don’t believe it? Peel away the layers by asking yourself “why” questions when you rage. What’s underneath your anger?
  • Most of what we fear never happens. We waste periods of our lives we can never get back when we anxiously worry over an unknown future.
  • Move your mindset up. What’s the worst thing that could happen? How likely is it? Don’t let your fear run wild. Most of our fears never become reality.

Five Fast Tips for Quickly De-Escalating Conflict

1.Focus on listening twice as much as you speak to a raging complainant.

2.Use a trick to signal your mind and body not to tense up and go into defensive mode. It’s an invisible language you speak to yourself, telling you to stay calm. Put your hands behind your back and clasp them there. Not only will it speak to you, but it sends a subliminal message to the other party that you are open and not blocking their efforts to be understood.

3.A gentle answer turns away wrath. The more someone else elevates in emotion strive to keep yours lowered. Mentally repeat, “A gentle answer turns away wrath,” over and over silently in your mind. This will keep you calm, even-tempered, and will send a consistent message of positivity to your brain.

4.Concentrate on speaking slower, and keep your tone regulated in a more monotone level.

5.Strive to stay mindful of your facial expressions.

Five Emotional Storm Triggers

There are five triggers that will drive any of us to the weakest state of our natural personalities. The longer we are in any one or more of these cloud covers, the more susceptible we are to exploding with lightning force. Addressing preventable, early and often, can protect you from a dangerous outburst.

Five Emotional Storm Triggers:

  • True Hunger
  • Dehydration
  • Extreme Fatigue
  • Illness
  • Pressure-Cooker Stress or Crisis

“Seek first to understand — then to be understood.” ~ Steven Covey



Screen Shot 2015-07-06 at 17.51.12Anita Brooks

anitabrooks.com

Anita Brooks motivates others to dynamic break-throughs. Blending mind, heart, body, and spirit, as anInspirational Business/Life Coach, Certified Personality Trainer, International Speaker, Certified Communications Specialist, andCommon Trauma Expert.

Anita is also an award-winning author. Her titles include Amazon best seller: Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over, Barbour Publishing,First Hired, Last Fired — How to Become Irreplaceable in Any Job Market, Leafwood Publishing, Death Defied-Life Defined: A Miracle Man’s Memoir, and contributor to The Change: Insights Into Self Empowerment Book #4. Her books are available at major and independent bookstores, Amazon, plus several online retailers.

She fulfills her mission to help 21st century women and men make fresh starts with fresh faith by sharing what she’s learned through experience, interviews, and research. Anita shares hope and encouragement on her Fresh Faith Inspirations podcast.

Anita’s favorite pastime is watching sunsets with her husband of 30 years, while they laugh and dip their toes in the water. Her favorite passion is inspiring others to transform battles into victories.

You can connect with Anita on Facebook, YouTube, Pinterest, LinkedIn, or Twitter. Keep up with Anita’s latest happenings at anitabrooks.com.Email anita@anitabrooks.com to request information on having Anita inspirationally speak or train at your next event.


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About the Author
Darren is a 30 year veteran of law enforcement and criminal investigations. He currently serves as an investigator for the Crawford County Missouri coroner’s office. He holds credentials as an instructor for the Missouri Sheriff’s Training Academy, has served as president of the Missouri Medical Examiners and Coroners Association, and is certified and credentialed in numerous fields of investigation. He holds the position of lead instructor and facilitator for the Coroner Talk™ community as he speaks and writes in the area of death investigation and scene management.

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